Donald J. Trump.
Pete Hegseth.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr..
Elon Musk.
Matt Gaetz.
What do these men all have in common besides their sexual misconduct allegations? The young men who aspire to be them. The young men that are “being forced” down the alt-right pipeline because they can’t call someone a “retard” without being scolded.
As a raging feminist, I feel bad for America’s young men. I really do. They don’t have the thick skin that women have developed after decades of being told we were inferior to men.
Naturally, if you are constantly told that you’re evil; constantly reminded of the burden that you put onto others by merely existing; constantly hearing people lament your species’ impact on the world. At a certain point you’re going to believe it.
Not only are you going to believe it but you’re also going to stop trying to prove them wrong. Maybe you’ll go so far as to prove them right.
Not women, when women had to hear that they were weak and burdensome on society constantly, they took it upon themselves to prove society wrong and now we can be CEOs and strippers. It’s a free country (for now).
A lot of right-wing ideology is centered around “owning the libs” : the act of pissing off those that are left of center, primarily through bigoted jokes and/or statements that the right believes will get them “cancelled”. The bulk of the owning is done by young men who have grown up hearing that men are bigots and feel like no matter what they do, they’ll always be considered a bigot. See I don’t think these men are being “forced” down this pipeline I think if you're not a bigot, it’s very easy to not be a bigot and then people would know you’re not a bigot so when you do make that edgy joke, no one cares.
It’s crazy these poor young men are so susceptible to public perception. Personally, I know I’m not included when people say “women aren’t funny” because I know I am funny. Maybe we, as women, should be focusing more on insecurity in young boys the way we focus on insecurities in young girls.
Or maybe men could just step it up and prove us wrong.
I grew up knowing the dichotomy of men all too well: as one of the nearly 50% of American children living in two households, I got to experience two “father figures”. I use quotes because I never saw my mom’s boyfriend as a father. I didn’t even see him as a man, I had zero respect for him because he was pathetic.
In hispanic culture there is a foundation of machismo. We fall into traditional gender roles at home: mom is mothering, cooking and cleaning while dad is working and because we live in a capitalist society, getting money is more important than anything; so, the poor hardworking man absolutely needs his beer and quiet time when he gets home.
Which in theory, I have no issue with. In my mom’s house however, it was: mom is mothering, cooking, cleaning, working full time and taking night classes to get her degree while mom’s boyfriend is working and drinking. All while claiming that he is the reason for everything good in life. Pathetic.
My dad on the other hand, was single until I was 15 so when I went to his house, out of necessity, it was: dad is fathering, working, cleaning and cooking (or ordering takeout). He would always joke about how all he needed was a woman to organize his life and then he would be unstoppable.
Then he found one and as it goes, our house fell into traditional gender roles with one caveat: they have equal value. When dad is at work, mom cleans up the house, when mom is cooking dinner, dad is helping with homework, etc. and because my dad spent so many years doing all of the above, he’s able to understand the symbiotic nature of the relationship. He knows that he relies on her just as much as she relies on him and that makes all the difference.
Two machismo relationships except one is clearly abusive, toxic and violent while the other is healthy, communicative and even. So it has nothing to do with the separation of work and everything to do with the imbalance of value.
Donald J. Trump. Pete Hegseth. Robert F. Kennedy Jr.. Elon Musk. Matt Gaetz.
Five men who didn’t value the mother of their children enough to not hit them or cheat on them or rape them. It has nothing to do with the nuclear family. It has nothing to do with traditional gender roles. It is solely the lack of value. These men do not value those underneath them.
When I say all men are pigs, I’m not talking about my dad because it doesn’t apply to him. I know it’s not all men but there are far too many pigs in positions of power for the young men growing up in America not to follow suit.
Well said. As a man, I have learned that I can do the dishes, vacuum, and hang the laundry, all without my penix falling straight off.
These boys aren't embracing their machismo; they don't have any. Tough guys usually aren't.
Loved this post. I really wish that all men could understand this concept.