'Big Balls' Breaking the Government
What you should know about the 19-year-old who has access to government secrets.
With the first three weeks of the Trump Administration, there is one question at the forefront of everybody's minds.
Who is ‘Big Balls’?
Welcome to the circus- I mean America! Where even an absolutely unqualified 19-year-old, like Edward ‘Big Balls’ Coristine, is able to get top level government clearance and read-only access to government databases. Nothing against 19-year-olds (writes the 19-year-old), everything against six unqualified tech bros acting as an unofficial government goon squad acting on behalf of the richest man in the world. This is the same party that accused Hillary Clinton of being incapable of holding national secrets because of an email server. Now they have man-children discussing and sharing government code via gmail.
Before getting into ‘Big Balls’ resume, just sit and think about this age group. Six young men, all within the age range of 19 to 24-year-olds, meaning they were 15 to 20 when COVID hit. These guys did the majority of their higher education online, with open-note take-home tests and zooms, in the most anti-social, chronically online way possible — the psychological repercussions of which are still unfolding — and we’re supposed to trust them with which government agencies to and not to fund?
After this picture was circulated online, ‘Big Balls’ LinkedIn where he referred to himself as ‘Big Balls’ was scrubbed, but do not fret. The X account @edwardbigballer, while hidden from search results, is up and active!
This is some high quality, top shelf content from an alleged government worker but wait, there's more! Not only is he a typical, horny, gross 19-year-old boy but he also has a history of revealing company secrets. Don’t worry though, Republicans have assured us that he, and the rest of the goons, only has read-only access to our government information and databases.
“Edward has been terminated for leaking internal information to the competitors” said a Path Network executive in a message in June 2022, after conducting an internal investigation to which ‘Big Balls’ said he did “nothing contractually wrong”. It’s worth noting Path Network is a cybersecurity firm that has a reputation for hiring reformed hackers. ‘Big Balls’ had also been communicating with a competitor in the weeks following his termination where he was bragging about the access that he had to Path Network’s data, saying “I had access to every single machine [...] I never exploited it because it's just not me.". I’m sure we can trust him to handle documents involving government personnel and agencies without taking advantage of it or leaking the information to any bad actors.
Did I mention he owns a business that hosts Russian domains and has shown public interest in mass attack bot campaigns?
What is this opening animation?
Oh and Turkey.
If there was any record of this Sexy.Tesla company or Diamond CDN being a legit cybersecurity company maybe I’d be a little less conspiratorial, but sorry what is this?
Is this not a default Canva template?
Is this for real?
For the record, I’m not alleging that this is Putin’s ‘Big Balls’, I’m simply wondering why he wasn’t forced to disclose the fact that his American LLC based in Connecticut has connections with a Russian cybersecurity company? I’m thinking that’s an issue of national security. On top of that, or rather completely separate from that: user ‘JoeyCrafter’ in 2022 is on Telegram posting in distributed denial of service (DDoS) for hire channel that he was “looking for a capable, powerful and reliable L7”. JoeyCrafter used to go by the handle ‘Rivage’, a known alias for Coristine. He was looking to carry out a 7-layer cyber attack that is used to shut down a site completely, which doesn’t sound too dangerous but if a bad actor were to try and shut down a healthcare portal, patients all over the country would be missing medications and unable to receive care. On top of all this, there’s the fact that Elon was being investigated for failing to keep up with national security standards, watch my latest video for more:
How did none of this come up in a background check? How does ‘Big Balls’ have government clearance right now? If I’m laughing how is China reacting? Why is this even a question that needs to be asked? What has our government come to?
…and he’s tweeting about having sex with his tiny penis, pick a struggle.
I don't think he was fired. I read several reports he resigned and other than his messages in this post, he has all but disappeared with his briefcase of our info on an external hard drive.
Downright scary on so many levels.